Today after so many years I went to the hospital to do my blood test. It took this long before I did it. Yesterday was step 1, meet my doctors. I was anxious at first because I felt that they might scold me for not checking my vitals for quite sometime. I was thankful that the Dr. Fontanilla was a breath of fresh air. She was very patient and understanding. Step 2 was to go to the hospital for my tests. That I did today. 

Usually I get all anxious when I do my tests. I can't sleep or become very scared and then I find reasons to postpone. I prayed yesterday for the Lord to give me courage. You see, this is my Red Sea. I've been reading this book, Red Sea Rules by Robert Morgan and he said that probably the Israelites also had to step out in faith and the sea didn't part all the way through. It was probably one step at a time. This is how I felt. So I prayed and in the midst of prayers even before I start, I felt God's presence and love surrounding me. I can't explain but I am in tears all the time. 

It's never easy to face once's mortality more so conditions that plague our aging bodies. But knowing that the Lord promised peace and that His right hand will always hold us, I felt like a child clinging to Him, lest I fall apart. 

True to His word, He did give me peace. Last night I slept like a baby, I woke up with the resolve to take the 2nd step of going to the hospital. During that time I was in a light mood making the hospital staff laugh. One instance is after they drew my blood (that hurt!) I asked the med tech, payat na ba ako? We laughed so hard in the pathology lab that probably made people so curious why so much laughter in a small cubicle. I cannot explain, some might call it weird or unbelievable or cosmetic happiness but that's how I feel the whole time. 

In my heart I know He did something to me, and that it's true that when you just cast (throw) your cares, anxieties to Him, He will give you peace. I will always treasure these moments that even if I walk one step at a time, not thinking of what lies ahead, I know my Saviour is always there walking with me at all times!

All praise and glory to our Lord Jesus Christ!!!